Every year I make New Years' Resolutions and like so many people, they are broken before February. So this year I'm going with bribes. And I'm only setting two, relatively easy (or so I believe) ones. I'm learning that if there are shoes at the end of the journey, my desirable outcome odds go up considerably.
1. I will not, ever again, fall into the teenage trap of using 'awesome', 'cool', and 'seriously' interchangeably in every situation that calls for an affirmation. Instead I will find more sophisticated, intelligent-sounding words. Seriously. OH NOOOO.
2. This is the official end of my Keeping up with the Kardashians fetish. Probably. It's my guilty pleasure. I find their cattiness terrible, but yet I can't stop DVR-ing. Did you see the one where Katie and Kim helped Bruce hold their mom's dry cleaning hostage? Addictive I tell you. Addictive.
I will do what my horoscope tells me to. This is more of an experiment than a resolution, really- it's a resolution to experiment. If I listen to my horoscope every day and alter my actions in some small way, will I snag the guy, learn how to put on liquid eyeliner, and become an ubercelebritized fashion guru?
I saw the Dr. Phil show last week. I'm not going to do anything stupid. Probably. The problem with doing stupid things is that they often are not recognized as stupid until they have already been done. Like after you send the ranting email/ horridly obnoxious text and then just close your eyes and mutter very quietly, "shoot."
So I am using MSN horoscopes as my control. And I figured I would get better results if I also knew what important people in my life were going to be up to, so I am also checking out a select few more signs.
The results will be posted here in two months. I've decided that the experiment will only last that long, so that should something socially catastrophic happen, there will be an end.
Wish me luck!
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